We were cock-blocked by Deliveroo.

We were cock-blocked by Deliveroo.

Has your deliveroo ever arrived when you were mid-shag?

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times.

My boyfriend and I were reminiscing about our first few dates the other day, including the first time we had sex. It was a memorable occasion for several reasons, one of which was that our Deliveroo arrived when we were in the midst of dutty shenanigans. 

It's always a nerve-wracking moment after the first few dates have gone well, you've been invited round for Deliveroo and a film and you've shaved your legs especially and put your nice pants on, fully anticipating that there may be some action... you don't know whether it's going to be good and you're nervously excited and hoping he has a big willy...

With the Deliveroo saying it'd be a solid 45 minute wait, and a film neither of us were really watching playing on in the background, one thing led to another and before we knew it we were absolute going for it. 

It was great. Everything was going GREAT and we were just about to switch it up with doggy style when the doorbell starts ringing. It could only be one thing, the Deliveroo driver was outside.

Let me set the scene here...

The two of us are in the bedroom, film on loud out of deference for Josh (his flatmate) watching TV in the living room next door.  We'd ordered only 20 minutes ago and thought we'd have plenty of time to spare between now and a BBQ smokehouse burger with extra bacon and sweet potato wedges. Then the unimaginable happened...for the first time in living history, the food came early.

Fuck.

There was a moment where time froze, we stopped and looked each other in the eye, an internal struggle raging as to whether to carry on or answer the door (dick or burger? dick or burger?) It was ok, Josh would answer the door for us, he surely would've heard the doorbell go and put two and two together... we waited... and waited... and the realisation slowly dawned that one of us was going to have to run down the four flights of stairs and claim the bastard burgers. 

We were both naked and in no fit state to present ourselves to anyone. Then the phone started ringing insistently -  RING RING RING - and Alex reluctantly pulled out and fumbled for some clothes as I lay there cracking up with laughter. 

The look of sheer comedy horror on my (now) boyfriend's face and he struggled with his trackies, still hard with a condom on, tucking the old fella up in the waistband, half-laughing half-cursing. We were both praying that A) Mr Deliveroo didn't fuck off with our burgers before he'd made it four flights of stairs down to the front door and B) it wasn't too obvious that we had been wildly fornicating just moments before. It was a picture. We were both in fits of laughter though somewhat frustrated to have been interrupted mid shag - which in hindsight made the whole shebang way more entertaining.

As Alex disappeared downstairs, I tried to regain some composure, putting my pants back on and wondering where we were going to go from here. Some moments later he dashed back up clutching our food, standing hesitantly next to the bed. Again, we both looked at each other with a fresh dilemma... do we carry on or eat?

We decided on dinner for two... whilst two mains and assorted sides went cold on the floor.

Some time later we emerged to the kitchen, "How was the food?" Josh asked innocently. "Dunno, we haven't eaten it yet" came the reply, as we proceeded to produce the cold burgers from the bag and load them into the microwave. We received a knowing look in return.

So, to wrap up this tale of events, although the Deliveroo came prematurely, at least Alex didn't and for that reason we enjoyed the rest of a very long and enjoyable night.

Have you ever been cock-blocked by Deliveroo? let me know in the comments below.

Georgia

x

Stop judging sweaty bitches at the gym.

Stop judging sweaty bitches at the gym.

It's true - tiny cakes and tea make you happy

It's true - tiny cakes and tea make you happy