Grad Life - Real Talk
Having just returned from a blissful holiday in Kos, it's safe to say I have the holiday blues and I've quickly been brought back to the reality of grad life...
Back to the desk job, back to a letter from Student Loans reminding me of my trillion pound debt to them, back to living with my mum (whom I love dearly but who drives me up the fricking wall)... back to a feeling of frustration, lack of independence and self-affliction. Ok ok, that sounds a tad overdramatic but I have been feeling a little lost lately as I try to grapple with some sort of life plan.
Admittedly, it was my own choice to move back home with my parents after graduating. The plan was to work for a year, save up enough money to go travelling for 6 months plus, and live an exhilarating, purely selfish and responsibility-free life, lapping up culture and just generally feeling alive.
The problem is, I fell into a pretty decent job at a start-up company which I'm progressing well in and so the "cut and dried" approach is becoming more and more difficult. I've set foot on the career path and want to climb the ladder, start earning the big(ger) bucks, in order to one day buy a nice house in the country... (pfft good luck with with getting on the property ladder). I am also now in a relationship which is going so well but I fear the travelling plans are slipping from reach.
I've been saving hard whilst living at home, which I'd like to continue to do, but it's been over a year now and living with my 'rents is becoming a frustrating my-heads-going-to-explode struggle. I'm quite frankly surprised at how long I have survived so far. And I find myself asking whether moving out into my own place would be a better option than splurging money on travel. Then I find myself thinking LIVE YOUR LIFE - don't consign yourself to bills and responsibilities and DON'T LET THE TRAVELLING DREAM DIE.
They say money makes the world go round and right now I feel like my dreams are being crushed by the need to have money for serious adult shit. My goals are to: achieve a good career, have a healthy bank balance, go travelling long-term, own property, be in a great relationship, have great friends, a Carrie Bradshaw wardrobe (bien sûr) and be healthy. Do I want too much? Am I simply being too impatient? Too unrealistic?
I find myself in an existential crisis. It seems like something has to give, but I don't want it to. Is that greedy? Our generation has been told to grasp opportunity, that the world is our oyster but also that we'll likely never own property or pay off our student debts. That career prospects are shitty and if we manage to bag a decent job and god forbid actually quite like it,to not take that for granted. We have big dreams but are they TOO big? I hope not. I hope this hazy phase passes soon and that I get some clarity on my direction. But for now, I'll make a cup of tea and carry on wondering what the fuck is going on.
- I hope you've enjoyed reading this newer type of feature. Pretty Chatty will be a place for honest, less glamorous lifestyle features which reflect what's going on dans ma vie. Merci beaucoup comme toujours pour lire -